That bitter taste that some call realization

I am home, at least that's what I hear. I am back in the place where I tried to grow up. I really only realized I hadn't grown up at all when I first left this place. It's knowing the difference between letting yourself loose and letting yourself go, growing up is. I'll be growing up all my life I think.

I've started to notice lately that you can't let yourself loose without acknowledging the chance of losing foot and letting yourself go. See the trouble is, I think I've let myself loose for too long. I feel like I see a lot of brokenness around me right now, and that doesn't exactly make me want to hold on. I want to see healing. I want to see something bright and brilliant again.

All my realistic instincts right now say that I've never been much of a homebody. Meeting new people is good, trusting new people is difficult. Hurt, no matter the place or time, is inevitable....but necessary, for growth anyways. My only hope that I choose to trust and have faith in right now is God. People are not permanent. Substances are not permanent. Actions, are simply residual. Something, something has to be permanent, something has to be worth it. I'm tired of trusting time bombs.