Sometimes...no.....a lot lately....I sit down and think,"God, there's no possible way I can keep going. There's no way this can get any worse. There's no one else you could possible take away from me, not without me dying first". No matter how many times I say that....or I hear it in my head...I always get the reply, "You can". And as usual...I deny it. It's the same ritual, same dance. I want to quit, but I need to be convinced that it's alright. I can get myself there. I can always be convinced, I am human. There's a catch...there's always a catch.
The catch is something I can't explain....it just happens. It's like the argument that goes on between God and I is suddenly made aware to another person....even sometimes without them knowing. Right then and there...God tag teams me. Yet, He's so gentle with it that I know everything that happens is out of love. I am so aware that I am not alone. And even when it's a mystery, I still know the root of it....In my heart.
So I guess...I need to get back to where I'm going with this....today, I had several of those moments. So I'll just say...Here's to best friends, who catch you off guard and throw love at you. Here's to the rare family member that keeps you sane, to people who care enough to threaten you. To people who also care enough to conspire behind your back because you haven't been yourself lately. Here's to the few that know all your habits...and how much they hinder you. And to people who know exactly when to tell you...to fight to the death because hope is never lost and those habits don't deserve your devotion.
Slàinte
Songs used in writing.....
What can I do; Relient K
Hold On; Toby Mac
Swing Low; Brandon Heath
Prayer; Sixpence none the richer
Amazing because it is; The Almost
Home; Natalie Grant
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